7am: open eyes, hear birds, close eyes
7:30am: anxiety flood about how much TV my kid watches alone
8am: reluctantly get out of bed, feed son a bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch
9am: work starts, school is supposed to start but sometimes I forget to log him in to Zoom
10am: resolve to practice guitar today
11am: work ends, school never started
11:30am: lunchtime. Kid usually wants ramen or what we call a “picnic plate,” a random assortment of foods served on the same plate so it might pass as a meal. It’s a blessing, really, that I don’t have to cook lunch.
11:35am: I am temporarily relieved parenting responsibilities; go for a walk
12:10pm: a bright spot in the day! Sometimes TV, sometimes Animal Crossing, sometimes reading on the deck. On bad days, more work. Have I eaten anything today?
1pm: work starts again, school is a non-starter
1:30pm: panic about losing my career, experience existential crisis over loss of purpose, check Twitter; repeat
3pm: why am I so tired having only done the absolute bare minimum of being alive?
4:30pm: my old dogs smell so bad
4:35pm: time for another walk because I can’t take another second in this house and I don’t want to vacuum to pass the time
5pm: start thinking about what to make for dinner. This is usually another bright spot if I’m not filled with resentment for having to go through this whole thing AGAIN and just lean in to the joy of cooking, as they say. I like to have a cocktail and listen to music while I cook. But I’ve been hitting the bottle too hard lately so I stick with LaCroix while I listen to Blossom Dearie.
6pm: halfway through cooking dinner I should have started an hour ago
6:30pm: take a 5mg edible and look forward to the sweet relief of slightly altered consciousness
6:35pm: mental note to Google harmful effects of daily cannabis use
7pm: eat dinner, save room for munchies
7:30pm: bedtime for the kid
7:45pm: remember that Bonnie Raitt is sober, resolve to be a better person tomorrow
8pm: eat too many snacks, watch dumb cartoons
9pm: sleep my feelings away